Well that was awkward
by BehindTheseWalls
Summary: Tony and McGee wake up in bed together after a stakeout  NOT a slash fic, just something I thought would be funny!


**A/N: I started off writing this story as a Tony/Ziva fic, but it seemed funnier to make it a Tony/McGee fic! Anyway, this was just a bit of fun that I hope you enjoy! :o)**

**Disclaimer: If the characters belonged to me, Tony and Ziva would probably have embarked upon a secret love affair long ago, but I guess the sexual tension is part of what keeps us watching! **

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><p>Well <em>that<em> was awkward.

A beam of bright sunlight was seeping in through a gap in the drapes, fanning outwards into a wide strip, just big enough to illuminate Tony DiNozzo's face. He gripped his eyes closer together, gently stirring himself back into conscious reality after a night of deep sleep. He brought a hand to his face and massaged one eyelid before moving to the other. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes yet, it was too bright for that; no, he liked to wake up slowly. He carefully shifted his body over so the light was no longer across his face and instantly he felt more relaxed, ten more minutes wouldn't hurt. As he felt himself free fall back into dreamland he became increasingly aware of a foot wrapping itself around his leg. He was not alone in the bed. A smile spread across his face, he had to admit, it wasn't the first time he'd woken up to find he had bedded some mystery girl, whilst it was often a bit of a problem attempting to remember her name and where they had met, he was generally overcome with a sense of cocky smugness which he was always sure to pass off to his colleagues.

Instinctively he reached out an arm to wrap around her; he wouldn't have any woman accusing him of not being sensitive in the morning. As he extended his reach he noted that the person was a little larger than his usual type, but then, he was maturing, everything wasn't all about looks to him anymore; if he connected with someone on a deeper level then he was just as happy. He felt the body he was holding start to move, she brought her hand up and rested it on his forearm, it was warm. As she started to brush her fingers back and forth over his skin he noted the hard, callous skin she possessed. He decided to replicate her action, manoeuvring his leg so his foot could lightly rub against her lower calf muscle. As he gently caressed his foot up and down he noted the excessive hair on her legs, obviously not a shaver, perhaps she was French? He did have a soft spot for a woman with an accent.

It took him a few seconds to remember that he hadn't actually been out last night, but the throbbing in his head reminded him that he had been drinking, and by the stale smell in the room, whiskey had been the main vice. It was at that moment that he remembered who he had been with last night. His eyes flew open in an instant; he didn't care that the light flooding into his field of vision was sending a wave of stinging pain through his system. He let out a loud scream when his worst nightmare had been confirmed; he was currently spooning with Timothy McGee.

"Ahhh!" he yelped as he threw himself from the bed onto his feet. His yelling next to McGee's ear had been enough to scare him awake too and the shock of his abrupt wake up call sent him tumbling to the dirty motel carpet floor. Dazed and confused, Tim pulled himself upright to a sitting position to look over the bed at Tony who was standing in his boxers and a t-shirt with a look of sheer horror on his face.

"What the HELL just happened McSnuggles?" he yelled, his voice high pitched and at an accelerated speed.

McGee rubbed his eyes, "You screamed in my ear." He spoke, sleep very present in his voice, as well as his look; fluffy bed hair was not his finest appearance. McGee looked over at Tony before looking down at himself, he too was dressed in just his boxers and a t-shirt, he looked over at the double bed that he had just fallen out of and Tony watched the expression he knew he had just made be mirrored on his teammates face.  
>"Oh. My. God." McGee commented quickly getting to his feet. "Were we just… cuddling?" he asked, a typical McGee look of horror and confusion written across his face.<p>

Tony bit his bottom lip and nodded. "I wake up and you're… lying there… with your legs all…" Tony mocked retching, unable to look McGee in the eye. "They were touching my legs… it was… it's not natural… it… you… I can't believe you would…"

"ME!" McGee protested, "You were the one with your arm around me!"

"HEY!" Tony shouted, pointing his finger at McGee, a serious and stern look on his face. "Never, EVER, speak of that again. This whole night…" he waved his hand through the air. "…gone, forgotten, never happened. You got it?"

McGee nodded. "Got it."

Tony reached for his shirt and jeans, quickly pulling them on to make himself feel less uncomfortable.

"If it makes you feel better," McGee began, speaking to break the tension. "Statistics show that men who are used to having a partner in bed with them will often huddle together automatically, on instinct, because they are so used to having someone else present beside them."

"That would be talking about it McCuddles, which is something we are not doing… ever."

"But Tony, it wasn't…"  
>"No, no… not talking about it." Tony interrupted, "I blame Ziva." He muttered pulling a jacket on over his shirt. "If she hadn't asked to switch stakeout duties with you I'd have at least been in bed with a…" he felt his stomach flip again. "No, no that's talking about it. I still blame Ziva… she left the whiskey." Tony threw open the motel door and walked away into the morning light, regardless of the fact that he had omitted shoes from his outfit.<p>

Tony and McGee stepped out of the elevator at NCIS, each with a backpack slung over their shoulder, each looking at the ground, making no attempt to hide the awkwardness between them.

"How was your stakeout?" Ziva asked as the two of them passed.

"Fine." McGee commented flatly.

"Uneventful." Tony added, throwing his bag down next to his desk.

"Did you see the guy?" Ziva questioned.

"No." Both of them responded in unison.

"So is Gibbs there now?"

"Yes." Both of them added again in unison.

Ziva narrowed her eyes at them; something was very different between them.

"Am I going to get more than one word answers from either of you today?" She raised an eyebrow. Tony and McGee slowly raised their bowed heads and turned towards each other, the moment their eyes met they instantly dropped gaze and looked away.

"I have to use the bathroom." Tony muttered quickly getting to his feet and hurrying away without so much as a second glance to his team.

Ziva looked at McGee, who, upon noticing her gaze, diverted his attention to his computer screen and began to tap heavily on his keyboard.

"What happened between you two last night?" She asked, all of a sudden standing behind McGee, causing him to jump; no-one had figured out quite how Ziva managed to move from one place to another so fast, so undetected, yet she seemed to do it on a regular basis.

"Ziva, seriously, don't do that."

"Do not keep secrets from me McGee, I know something happened, now just tell me about it."

"Can't." he replied.

"Why?"

"I promised Tony, we made a deal, believe me, it's better left unsaid." He replied. Ziva narrowed her eyes once again; it seemed to be all she did when the two of them were involved.

"Fine. If you will not tell me, Tony will…" she said, walking away from McGee with purpose in her stride.

"He's not going to talk!" McGee called.

"Oh he will…" Ziva replied, pulling her knife from behind her belt and waving the blade in the air. McGee hoped this was simply one of Ziva's overdramatic shows of power, but he could never be too sure with her.

Ziva pushed open the door to the men's room, somewhere she had frequented often in recent years, so much so that the smell of stale urine and poor air freshener no longer bothered her. Tony was standing next to the urinal, ironically, the same one he always stood at when she visited him in the bathroom.  
>"So do you want to tell me your side of the story?" she asked coyly. Tony's eyes widened as he looked up and stared at the wall.<p>

"My side? Probie told you what happened?"

"Oh yes, McGee spilled _every_ detail." Ziva grinned.

Tony hastily zipped up his fly and spun around to face her.

"Alright so we may have ended up snuggling, that was it, it's no big deal, I'm a secure man, I have no shame."

"You and McGee… snuggled?" Ziva repeated, surprise and a smile spreading over her face. Tony's face suddenly dropped.

"He… he didn't tell you anything did he?"

Ziva shook her head. Tony shut his eyes and rolled his head back. "Damn your ninja mind games."

"Well, now that I know, are you going to disclose full details or would you like me to book the two of you a hotel room for your birthday?" She laughed.

"Hey, hang on a second; I blame you for this you know."

"What did I do?" Ziva asked shocked.

"What did you do? Ha! You, my Israeli companion, provided the whiskey, the alcohol, the liquor, the fuel of the fire on any night that needs to be forgotten…"

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><p>McGee sat next to the window with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a pair of binoculars pressed to his eyes.<p>

"Seriously, he's not going to show up, not in this weather, there's at least 3 inches of snow out there." He observed the way his breath was visible in the air inside. "Have you fixed that heater yet?"

"Gee McGenius, it's like the Sahara in here, can't you see me parading around in my Speedo? Of course I haven't fixed the damn heater!" Tony replied. McGee rolled his eyes.

"Hand me the thermos will you, soup will warm me up."

Tony looked a little sheepish.

"Yeah, about that… it's kind of… gone."

McGee turned from the window, lowering the binoculars and stared down Tony who was perched on the end of the double bed with the thin duvet wrapped around himself.

"Gone? Gone where?"

Tony grinned. "I was feeling chilly?" he spoke.

"Tony, that was _my_ soup. I bought it, for ME, in case you forgot you had the double cheese burger with bacon, fries, garlic bread and an apple pie."

Tony appeared to go off into a daze as he was reminded of the dinner he had eaten earlier.

"Yeah, it was good." He replied, feeling saliva flooding his mouth.

"And you still had room for my soup. You disgust me."

"Come now Probie, I am the senior field agent; you need to make sure that I am well fed." He grinned smugly.

"You can't pull rank on me for everything," McGee protested.

"Well, whilst I am pulling rank, I get the bed, you take the couch."

"No way, nuh-uh, I took the couch last time, you know it messed up my back, I am taking the bed. And after the soup incident, I definitely win that one."

"Whatever Probie-One, we shall see."

"What am I supposed to eat now? All the take out places are closed."

Tony's eyes lit up as he lay back on the bed and rolled to the left, reaching under the base of the bed.

"It's not exactly food, but it'll keep you warm for sure." Tony mumbled, pulling himself back upright and tossing a three quarters full bottle of whiskey to his team mate. "Think of it as a liquid supper."

"Tony, it would be unprofessional to drink on the job."

"Tell that to Ziva, she brought the bottle." Tony grabbed it out of McGee's hands, the liquid sloshing satisfyingly against the glass as he did so. He unscrewed the metal cap and took a long glug of the brown liquid inside. The alcohol stung his throat leaving him with warmth inside as the liquid slowly moved its way through his system. He let out a content sigh and threw the duvet off of himself. "Feeling warmer already." He grinned.

McGee narrowed his eyes, a typical McGee pout on his lips, he eyed Tony up and down before grabbing the bottle back and swigging from the spout.

"Feel the burn yet?" Tony grinned as he watched McGee grimace as the liquid made contact with his taste buds.

Less than twenty minutes later McGee downed the dregs remaining in the bottle and tossed the empty glass to the floor below.

"And I'll tell you why elshe I hate stakeouts…" he slurred. "Because Gibbs doesn't have to be here freeshing, freeshing, freeshing…" he continued, attempting to correct himself but failing miserably. "freeshing his ass off." His mistakes caused a wide grin to spread across Tony's face, his cheeks red from the alcohol the two of them had ingested. "AND…" McGee continued raising his finger. "When he DOES go on stakeout, he goes with Ziva."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "You jealous about that McProbie? Got a soft spot for our resident Ishraeli?" He barely noticed that he had begun to slur his own words.

"No." McGee retorted. "No, I jusht think that if you're going to freesh to death you might as well be doing it with a woman who you can share body heat with. I'd much rather share my body heat with her than… well with you."

Tony nodded. "It's got to be said the woman has a smoking body." He grinned.

"You would know, you're the one that gets all the under covers with her."

"What can I say, I'm,"

"Schenior field agent." McGee interrupted.

"No I was going to say the hottest person on team, let's face it; the couples need to look believable."

McGee wrinkled his nose. "Stakeouts are boring."

"You know what we need?" Tony asked.

"What?"

"More alcohol!" A light illuminated behind Tony's eyes. "Probie, you stay here, I'll go get some, and when I get back, we'll play charades."

Tony threw on a jacket and made his way out of the motel door.

Less than an hour later, bottles of beer littered the cheap carpet floor and McGee stood on the sofa waving his shirt in the air around his head.

"And this is a movie?" Tony questioned, watching his fellow agent spin the cotton shirt on his finger, accidentally letting go and tossing it across the room, knocking a lamp to the floor. McGee nodded. "My God Probie, I think I must have fixed that heater, it's like a sweat shop in here!" Tony unbuttoned his jeans and attempted to fold them, succeeding only to screw them into a ball on the floor beside him. Sitting in his boxers and undershirt, he felt a lot cooler.

"Come on, guess the movie!" McGee prompted. He began to unzip his pants and shimmy his hips so they fell to the floor.

"Woah, woah, WOAH!" Tony yelled. "Stop that RIGHT NOW!"

"It'sha clooooow." McGee chuckled. "What am I doing?"

"Stripping?" Tony responded alarmed.

"Yesh!"

"Striptease!" Tony shouted.

"Correct!" McGee pointed, attempting to step from the couch, succeeding only to stumble and fall on to the bed beside Tony.

"McGee!" Tony laughed. "Very good, nicely done." He shook his teammate who was lying with his face squished into the pillow. "Now get to the couch, the bed is mine."

McGee didn't move. Tony shook him gently. "McGee?" Nothing. He shook him a little harder this time. "Probie? Gemcity? Tim? MCGEE! WAKE UP!" Instead all that came from his team mate was a long, loud snore. "Fine. You think you can take the bed like that? No way. I'll show you." Tony flapped back the duvet and climbed into the bed on the other side. "Two can play at this game McSneaky. Here's a charade for you… SLEEPLESS in Seattle! Haha, hahaha, oh DiNozzo, you are schow, funny!" Tony's head hit the pillow and he instantly fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Next thing I know, I'm waking up and the two of us are… snuggled." Tony fake retched again.<p>

"Hold on a second, McGee was performing a strip tease for you?" Ziva laughed.

"It was charades Ziva, charades. Perfectly normal activity."

"Oh I can assure you I have been on stakeout many times and Gibbs had never once performed a charades strip tease for me."

A look of disgust crossed Tony's face.

"Eww, come to think of it, I think waking up snuggled with Gibbs might actually be worse than snuggling with McGee."

"Well, if you play your cards right, tonight at the stakeout, it will not be McGee that you will be snuggled with." Ziva winked.

"Oh yeah?" Tony grinned smugly.

"And I hear the weather is supposed to get very cold tonight." She teased.

"Oh yeah, and being in that crappy motel room, poor heating, two people snuggled could find themselves even closer than normal."

"Yes, and being from a warm climate means the cold only feels all the more bitter, yes?"

"You tell me." He replied. "I'm sure I can arrange a share of my body heat." Tony winked clicking his tongue against his teeth.

"Good." She replied, teasingly leaning in close enough to him that he could feel her breath against his cheek. "I will tell Palmer." She made her way towards the exit.

"Palmer?" Tony spat shocked.

"Yes, he was raised in Arizona, it is hot there yes?"

"Yeah but, what the hell is Palmer doing going on stakeout?"

"We have rotated all the agents and there is no more overtime available, he would like to learn what it is like to be an agent, since this stakeout is not throwing up anything new Gibbs said he could tag along tonight. He will be pleased to know you are happy to snuggle I am sure." And with that she stepped out of the bathroom leaving Tony alone, red faced and disappointed.


End file.
